License to let die?!

“Our agent is imprisoned in Dr. Bondcastrator's lair, in an electrified cage, surrounded by a shark tank. The lair is hidden inside an active volcano, where every possible entrance is guarded by a henchman, armed with a flame thrower, and a fierce dog. Can you get him out Bond?!”

“No.”

Bitter aftertaste

What began as a simple piece of marketing was having disastrous repercussions.

Accidents had undeniably happened, and the Salt case set a dangerous precedent; compensation costs had been astronomical.

What’s more, Willy had received letters from the legal representatives of Gloop, Teavee, and Beauregarde.

“Damn those golden tickets!” he uttered.

Awkward

Marjory and Derek were both annoyed. While watching a film, both felt that they recognised the leading lady; but where from?

Derek suddenly realised. His wife could tell he’d remembered.

“Go on then.”

“Eh?”

“You’ve recognised her!”

Derek flushed.

“Derek, just tell me! What’s she been in?”

Pause.

“Afro-whores 3.”

One small deception...

“CUT!”

They had finished filming for the day, but the secrecy surrounding the project meant that everyone involved slept on location, at the elaborate set.

The exhausted star rested on a bench, removing his helmet.

His director approached.

“We’ll be doing the ‘One Small step’ scene tomorrow, Neil. That OK?”

Sacrilegious(?)

“Absolutely unsinkable! God Himself couldn’t sink this ship!” Cal gloated, as he boarded the Titanic.

Up in Heaven, God heard these badly chosen words.

Picking up his phone, he said: “Gabriel? I need a meeting with the Ocean and Glacier departments. These people are getting too big for their boots!”

Feeling strong now...

Apollo shook his head and sighed.

He’d introduced revolutionary training methods to ensure that his protégé would have the technique to regain the heavyweight-title.

Yet, Rocky was letting his opponent punch him in the face ‘til he tired himself out.

“How did I ever lose to this guy?!” Apollo muttered.

1.21 Giga...What??!

It had unquestionably been a tough few days for Marty.

He’d seen his best friend get murdered, become the first human time-traveller, and had to endure a schoolgirl crush from his mother!

Now, though, things were back to normal in 1985.

But hang on...

“Jennifer, why are you suddenly ginger?!”

Film Critics

The film had touched Emiliana greatly.

It had everything.

The depth of the characters; the subtle development of their relationships; the understated yet powerful symbolism; and the many layers of sub-text made the film an instant classic.

Upon leaving the theatre, she asked Gaz for his opinion.

“It was shit.”

A Cartoon about Bunnies

Tyson reflected on his earlier conversation with Gemma.

“A cartoon about bunnies?” he’d scoffed, after his girlfriend suggested watching Watership Down.

Since then, he’d been inspired by Fiver, empowered by Bigwig, and horrified by Efrafa.

Now, the Black Rabbit of Inle was approaching Hazel.

A tear rolled down Tyson’s cheek.