The BFG (?)

The Bloodbottler’s argument was surprisingly convincing.

Snozzcumbers were revolting, and the BFG had never even tried children before.

Sophie cowered in his hand.

“You aren’t going to eat me are you, BFG?” she squeaked.

“I is just being called the ‘BG’ now.” he replied.

He lifted her towards his mouth.

Awkward

Marjory and Derek were both annoyed. While watching a film, both felt that they recognised the leading lady; but where from?

Derek suddenly realised. His wife could tell he’d remembered.

“Go on then.”

“Eh?”

“You’ve recognised her!”

Derek flushed.

“Derek, just tell me! What’s she been in?”

Pause.

“Afro-whores 3.”

Have I just written satire?!

Katie and Laura entered the train, continuing their conversation about their iPhones.

“It’s transformed the way I communicate with friends,” gushed Katie.

“Defo!” Laura agreed.

They sat down, tapping at their phones.

Katie played angry birds. Laura gave herself a moustache.

They didn’t speak for the remainder of the journey.

Worthwhile

Mr Johnson was pleasantly surprised by the gift from Sonny.

In truth, Sonny’s attitude throughout Year 6 had made Johnson wonder whether he’d gotten through to him at all.

As the bell went, the children filed out, for the last time.

Sonny was the first child to hug Mr Johnson.

Patellar Reflex

John reflected on an emphatic home win.

“Great performance! I’m glad that the youngsters are getting a chance. I feel really positive about the new season, now.”

One defeat later...

“Awful result. That kid shouldn’t be playing at left back, and the manager should definitely be sacked.”

What a moron.

When in Rome...

It felt all wrong to Jim.

Although he’d done it countless times before, it had never been quite like this.

Still, he felt that, as a guest, he should do things the way his hosts preferred.

Jim picked up their toothpaste (he’d forgotten his own) and squeezed... from the middle!

Not War and Peace

For no obvious reason, Marc was determined to name all the three letter body parts within two minutes.

Eye, ear, arm, toe; this was easy!

Erm... HIP! And Rib!

BUM! (Not accepted)

Lip... Jaw!  GUM!!

10 seconds left...

Damn!

How the hell did I miss leg?!

The beauty of Sporcle!