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Friday, 21 November 2014

Magic Shoes

A wizened old man had handed Charlie the battered, 1950s style football boots.

“Belonged to Best!” He claimed. “Still got his magic in ‘em!”

Before his next game, Charlie pulled them on, accidentally snapping a lace in his eagerness.

‘Won’t matter!’  he thought.


They lost 5-0; Charlie missed a penalty.

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Survival of the Fittest

“Good day at work Rex?”

“Not bad, apart from that upstart.”

“Eh?”

“Some tiny fella, with a big mouth, thinking that he’s in charge, cos he has opposable thumbs.”

“Never mind. If he’s that small, he'll be squashed soon enough; by one of us or that meteor I've heard about…”

Friday, 14 February 2014

Dahl-ing with OFSTED:

Crunchem Hall’s inspection was not going as hoped.

Behaviour management policies were being fiercely scrutinized.

Observations noted children being picked up by their ears, thrown, and even locked in cupboards!

The Head invited the inspector into her office with a conspiratorial wink.


Then she threw him out of the window.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

More than they Bargained for?

All 3 items had bombed.

The bonus buy did little better.

“The losing team are the Reds!” declared Wonnacott.

“You realise the initial £300 is only a loan?”

Ken and Norman laughed along.

“You can’t pay it; we break thumbs.”

An awkward silence followed.

“As I thought.” Wonnacott declared. “DICKINSON!”

Monday, 13 January 2014

Hard Bargain

They were the most successful partnership in the show’s history.

They'd long discussed how to maximise their ‘winnings’, before settling on a strategy.

Now, they were £300 up, and with 2 Bargain Hunt fleeces!

“Stop them!” shouted Wonnacott.

Doris and Frank kept running; they'd started straight after receiving the cash.

Friday, 10 January 2014

Guest Saga:

When I was shot, fear seized me at first. 

No surprise that. 


But once I realized I wasn’t going to die – despite the thermonuclear pain and widening puddle of weirdly warm blood – my mind recalibrated. 


And one thought, comforting yet disturbing, leapt into my head: I need to Tweet this.


This is a mini-saga written by the author Daniel H Pink. After I'd been inspired to start writing myself, it was one of the first that I found after a quick google search. I would also go as far as to say that it's still one of the best I've read.

Thought I'd post it here as this blog has laid dormant for a while, and it might inspire me to start writing again.