Jane

He loved her.

Her dulcet tones had never steered him wrong.

Consequently, he always followed her instructions; even ones against his better judgement.

Newer models never tempted him, and his friends’ pleas to attempt to ‘update’ her were ignored.

The result? One day his satnav directed him into a lake!

Silver Shooting Star

For the last week, Ian had been checking online for his latest grade.

His previous results were good, and he was desperate to find out if how he’d been rated this time.

His result was there!

A+++!

Ian smiled as he read the rest of the feedback: “Top eBayer, cheers!”

(Peanut butter is actually more effective)

He knew how dangerous the enemy was; the attempted poisoning had proved that.

Nonetheless, he still had a mission to complete.

He squeezed out of his hideout and dashed, staying close to the wall.

Soon, he saw the target.

He took hold of the cheese.

SNAP!

The enemy had won.

When the housemate's away...

A few things changed when his housemates went on holiday; less washing up, his choice of TV...

Perhaps most noteworthy, was the fact that he was no longer sleeping alone.

Every night, a female companion was sharing his bed;

Their terrier only slept in his room when they were away.

Dilemma

Sarah had a tough decision to make.

She felt sure that neither possible outcome would be satisfactory.

Her family had left her in this position, yet they didn’t comprehend its seriousness; they even seemed to find it amusing.

Sarah sullenly looked at her choices again... Toffee Penny, or Coffee Creme?

“Everyone will be World famous for 15 minutes.”

The whole family settled down to watch Chardonnay’s audition.

The debacle that followed saw her caterwaul horrendously, swear at all three judges, and then swing at the security guard as he forcibly removed her from the stage.

“Anything to say?” asked her appalled grandmother.

“Yeah. I woz on TV, innit!!”