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Thursday 29 July 2010

29-07-01

Danny thought that he should probably feel sad.

And he did; sort of. But his sadness wasn’t reserved for specific days.

It was a sadness that usually hid, but could rear its head at anytime; at the slightest trigger, or with little warning.

His father had died nine years ago.

Tuesday 27 July 2010

Behind Enemy Lines

Jack was deep in enemy territory.

Undercover, completely surrounded, he knew that one false move would mean big trouble.

He’d known the dangers from the start, hoping that he could keep his emotions, and actions under control.

When Beckford scored at Old Trafford, Jack went wild...and was promptly thrown out.

Saturday 24 July 2010

Torture

She knew that by pressing one button, she could torture them all.

They were all strapped in place, with no feasible means of escape.

Perhaps most disturbingly of all, she knew that she would actually take enjoyment from it.

Grandma pressed play, and Cliff Richards’ Greatest Hits filled the car.

Thursday 22 July 2010

Crossed Wires

Sean was surprised that his wife was coming along so enthusiastically.

She was in the car before him, and chattered excitedly on the journey.

However, she inexplicably became irritated when he parked outside Skipper’s Nautical Supplies; even though he had said, from the start, that they were going sail shopping.

Tuesday 20 July 2010

Cold Turkey

Ben had been clean for 13 days, but was now struggling.

He couldn’t stop thinking about his experiences in the past; trying to focus on the morale-crushing come downs, rather than the amazing highs.

He’d vowed to give up, but couldn’t resist anymore.

Ben double clicked the Football Manager shortcut.

Friday 16 July 2010

Yodellin' Norman

Norman had always been confident in his yodelling ability, but wanted to know what others thought.

Now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, his video was viewable to millions.

Day one; zero views.

Day two; zero views.

It continued...

Day 19; a view! And a comment!

“You suck, Norman!”

Thursday 15 July 2010

Can you handle the truth?

“Well honestly, I think it’s an insult to their memory!” Exclaimed Percy.

“Saying that my brothers made it to my house is a lie. Even suggesting the idea, to protect children or otherwise, is offensive in the extreme!”

“All I am trying to do is promote Big Bad Wolf awareness.”

Tuesday 13 July 2010

Break up

Rubbing her eyes, Louise picked up the phone.

The conversation was fairly brief, but ended with her insisting: “No, honestly, I’m fine. I’m better off without him!”

Louise put down the phone.

Then, she re-adjusted her duvet, un-paused Bridget Jones, and started on her second tub of Ben and Jerry’s.

Monday 12 July 2010

Diet

Tracey had a fairly poor track record in her numerous attempts at ‘health kicks’.

This time though, she had a new strategy; one that surely couldn’t fail.

The cashier read back her order: “OK, so that’s an XL Double Cheeseburger meal, with extra onion rings. What drink?”

“Diet Coke, please.”

Adverbs

Alex knew that, by law, the traffic had to stop when she stepped onto the zebra crossing. She strode out confidently.

Jay knew that he’d been driving too fast. He slammed on the brakes desperately.

Alex knew nothing more. She lay, limply.

Alex’s Mum knew true sorrow. She cried inconsolably.

Saturday 10 July 2010

Uncivilised Behaviour

Rupert hated chavs.

The attitude; the lazy drawl; even the dress sense aggravated him.

He had nothing to do with ‘that sort’, thinking one or two less would be a good start.

At least, that’s what he told himself, as he saw 5 of them attacking another, and did nothing.

A Cartoon about Bunnies

Tyson reflected on his earlier conversation with Gemma.

“A cartoon about bunnies?” he’d scoffed, after his girlfriend suggested watching Watership Down.

Since then, he’d been inspired by Fiver, empowered by Bigwig, and horrified by Efrafa.

Now, the Black Rabbit of Inle was approaching Hazel.

A tear rolled down Tyson’s cheek.

Living the Dream

Michael’s goal had initially seemed unattainable, but had finally been achieved through persistence, knowledge and graft.

The wireless technology was in place.

The system of mirrors was perfect; painstakingly adjusted to the nearest degree.

The dream was set to be realised.

Michael could now play his X-Box from the toilet!

Friday 9 July 2010

Regular Beats

Solitary confinement is what I long for.

But all too regularly, I hear the click of the lock. And he comes in.

He attacks me; beats me all over, with wooden sticks, for hours at a time.

The life of a drum kit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Wednesday 7 July 2010

Paying off. Or not.

He had sacrificed his entire social life for three years, not to mention working up almost fifteen grand of debt, but Jeremy’s efforts were finally bearing fruit.

He had secured that degree, and now here he was in his first real job.

“Do you want fries with that?” he asked.

Nightmares

The dreams were getting worse.

His skin was being completely removed, by a maniac with a knife.

He was being sliced down the middle, and cast into boiling hot water.

And what was worse; when he had these dreams Mrs Potato-Head just kept telling him to go back to sleep.

Doping?

As is sometimes the way, after big sporting events, a random drugs test was called for.

Strangely though, the sample was taken from the losing competitor.

Stranger still, the results showed a massive dose of sleeping pills in the athlete’s bloodstream.

Consequently, the Hare was declared champion.

The Tortoise? Suspended.