Cold Turkey II

Tommy entered, and glanced around the room.

The residents showed all the telltale signs; uncomfortable fidgeting, inability to concentrate, and generally, a sickly look.

He’d seen it all before, of course.

“Cold turkey.” he stated.

It wasn’t a question.

“Give over!” moaned Cheryl. “I’m still full from my Christmas Pudding!”

Prequel

Joe was overcome with conflicting emotions: anger, humiliation... confusion.

His fiancé had told him that she was pregnant.

The baby wasn’t his.

Furthermore, she’d fed him some ludicrous tale about how she’d gotten pregnant.

Just as he decided to break off the engagement, the room filled with a dazzling light...

Not quite the front of a Christmas card...

Joe gazed around, intently.

The accommodation was even worse than he had feared.

The whole place stank, was filthy and was freezing cold.

Raucous animal noises exacerbated the situation.

In short, he could hardly envisage a worse place for his pregnant wife to stay.

He put his arm around Mary.

Watch out...

He had entered the target house, without any hitches.

Now he had to do the job, and get out of there.

He worked swiftly and silently, knowing one false move could wake the whole household.

He finished.

With a ‘Ho ho ho’, he grabbed the complimentary mince pie and left. 

Basic maths

In different circumstances, Danny would have taken a maths degree.

However, he had eventually decided on English Literature.

The latest block, 1930s poetry, was particularly tough. Progress was minimal.

Danny took a couple of days off, planning to restart work with double the enthusiasm.

The mathematician inside him said: 2(0)=0

Waiting

I sit.

I wait... wondering if he’s ever going to return; wondering if I did something to make him leave...

Keys outside! I can’t contain my excitement.

I run downstairs, and throw myself at him.

He regards me, and lovingly says what I’ve been aching to hear all day:

“Walkies.”

Winston*

Winston was fed up of uni accommodation.

He alone washed up, emptied the bins, vacuumed, dusted...

If only his housemates would help occasionally.

One day, he noticed that one small task had been performed!

He immediately rushed into the lounge.

“Who...” he began, “Has hung the loo roll facing inwards?!”

Assignment 1 in 50 words

A formerly rich family sells an orchard to pay off debts.

Erm...

No-one knows whether it’s supposed to be funny or tragic.

Then...

Err...

It’s set in Russia.

And...

It...

Well, nothing else really happens.

Nonetheless, Chekhov is still “one of the greatest influences on contemporary theatre.” (Andrew, 1982, p.9) 

The lie we've all told

“How are you Terry?”

I’m miserable, I hate my job, I’m lonely, I’m not sleeping, none of my plans for life have come off, I’m worried about money, I’m worried about cutbacks, I miss my Mum, I’m a failure, I’m...

Oops I’d, better answer.

“I’m fine thanks. What about you?”

He followed Dory's advice

Alfie spluttered.

He wasn’t a strong swimmer, and felt like he’d been stuck in the deep water for an age.

Furthermore, despite his efforts, the dry ground seemed just as far away.

He persisted, kicking relentlessly.

After a mammoth effort, he reached the edge of the pool.

25m back-stroke achieved! 

Well?

After deliberating, Danny decided to play a trick on some of his friends.

He knew that it wasn’t particularly funny or clever, but wanted to see what reactions it caused, (if any).

After a little planning and preparation, the ruse was ready.

Danny waited, interested to see the results.

B ang

He’d known it would come to this.

The others looked as he felt; apprehensive but ready, anticipating the gun-shot that would play such a huge part in their destinies.

For what felt like an age, he waited.

When he heard it, he ran. His shot at Olympic glory was underway.

Traveller

As I approach my previously unknown destination, thousands of guides show me the way;

An ocean of red that sweeps me along.

I’m the only speck of white, and consequently, eyes are upon me, in curiosity or contempt.

However, this only increases my pride:

I love being an away fan.

The BFG (?)

The Bloodbottler’s argument was surprisingly convincing.

Snozzcumbers were revolting, and the BFG had never even tried children before.

Sophie cowered in his hand.

“You aren’t going to eat me are you, BFG?” she squeaked.

“I is just being called the ‘BG’ now.” he replied.

He lifted her towards his mouth.

Awkward

Marjory and Derek were both annoyed. While watching a film, both felt that they recognised the leading lady; but where from?

Derek suddenly realised. His wife could tell he’d remembered.

“Go on then.”

“Eh?”

“You’ve recognised her!”

Derek flushed.

“Derek, just tell me! What’s she been in?”

Pause.

“Afro-whores 3.”

Have I just written satire?!

Katie and Laura entered the train, continuing their conversation about their iPhones.

“It’s transformed the way I communicate with friends,” gushed Katie.

“Defo!” Laura agreed.

They sat down, tapping at their phones.

Katie played angry birds. Laura gave herself a moustache.

They didn’t speak for the remainder of the journey.

Worthwhile

Mr Johnson was pleasantly surprised by the gift from Sonny.

In truth, Sonny’s attitude throughout Year 6 had made Johnson wonder whether he’d gotten through to him at all.

As the bell went, the children filed out, for the last time.

Sonny was the first child to hug Mr Johnson.

Patellar Reflex

John reflected on an emphatic home win.

“Great performance! I’m glad that the youngsters are getting a chance. I feel really positive about the new season, now.”

One defeat later...

“Awful result. That kid shouldn’t be playing at left back, and the manager should definitely be sacked.”

What a moron.

When in Rome...

It felt all wrong to Jim.

Although he’d done it countless times before, it had never been quite like this.

Still, he felt that, as a guest, he should do things the way his hosts preferred.

Jim picked up their toothpaste (he’d forgotten his own) and squeezed... from the middle!

Not War and Peace

For no obvious reason, Marc was determined to name all the three letter body parts within two minutes.

Eye, ear, arm, toe; this was easy!

Erm... HIP! And Rib!

BUM! (Not accepted)

Lip... Jaw!  GUM!!

10 seconds left...

Damn!

How the hell did I miss leg?!

The beauty of Sporcle!

||

The war was raging violently, when, without explanation, it abruptly stopped.

The sound of gunfire was silenced. Everyone stood perfectly still.

George didn’t have a clue what was happening.

He looked around for any kind of explanation.

And then he saw it; the dog was chewing on the DVD remote.

If Mice didn't do 'Stranger Danger'

A mouse took a stroll through the deep, dark wood.

A fox saw the mouse, and the mouse looked good.

“Where are you going to, little brown mouse? 

“Come for a meal in my underground house.”

“Sounds great!” squeaked Mouse.

The mouse wasn’t seen again.

The Gruffalo was never published.

Selling Out

Marc was deliberating.

He had to impart his message subtly, or risk putting the artistic integrity of his whole project in jeopardy.

He began.

“Click the adverts when you visit my blog, and then I might get money!”

That’ll do it, he thought, trying not to feel like a mercenary.

Those three words.

She was delighted with how their first meeting was going.

He was listening intently, but also saying everything she wanted to hear.

However, as with many of these ‘dates’, the use, and timing of those three words ruined everything.

“Off the record,” he concluded, eliminating her potential front page story.

Brown bagging

Lenny sat on a bench, and began to consume his purchase, straight from its brown paper bag.

He knew there was a certain stigma attached to this, but didn’t care;

It warmed his insides!

“It’s 9.30am!” chided a passing woman.

Ignoring her, Lenny carried on munching his Greggs sausage roll.

What's in a Name?

Big plans have to start somewhere, and the propaganda campaign was well under way.

Downright lies about their identities had been fed to the public, and already these were being taken for granted.

Red Onion, Red Cabbage, Red Grape...

The purple foods’ master plan for world domination was in motion.

Dr. Carter

For the first time in his career, Dr Carter had to tell a patient that she was going to die.

However, he felt well prepared.

The interns had completed numerous role plays in readiness, with the mentor commenting that Carter was the best.

Remembering this, he entered the room smiling.

El Aserradero

Initially, the journey was merely cramped and uncomfortable.

Now, things were rapidly going downhill.

Rain was beating down and their vessel seemed to be leaking.

“Look out!” warned one of the adventurers.

They plummeted, taking onboard yet more water.

Drenched, she commented, “Who suggested the log flume in this weather?!”

Get used to it, Frank.

From the second it left his foot, Frank knew it was in.

The net rippled, and the nearby fans were bouncing and screaming in ecstasy.

He looked towards them, putting his hands on his hips and bowing his head.

It was the first own goal that he had ever scored.

The Hereafter

The twins were having a deep conversation.

“Do you think there is life afterwards?”

“There has to be,” came the reply. “There just must be something more.”

They continued to exist, side by side, until the fateful day came;

The day they were born.

So there was life after birth!

"For bet than never is late"

He knew that the birthday message he was sending was extremely late.

He had considered not posting it at all, but recalled that he had made a promise.

“A late message is better than no message at all,” he concluded, before clicking the ‘publish post’ button...

Happy Birthday 2010, Rebecca!

Subversion (TMA6)

An old man got out of bed one day, and decided to take his chocolate brown Labrador for a walk.

It was sunny, and there was a light breeze outside and he considered this perfect weather for a stroll in the park.

When he had finished, he went back home.

One year on.

I've tried to decide on my top 5 mini sagas so far. I'm not certain I’ve got it quite right, but here’s my list:


1.   http://in50words-marc.blogspot.com/2011/03/leaving.html

2.   http://in50words-marc.blogspot.com/2010/05/pretender-in-throne.html

3.   http://in50words-marc.blogspot.com/2010/09/fresh-start.html

4.  http://in50words-marc.blogspot.com/2010/08/film-critics.html

5.   http://in50words-marc.blogspot.com/2010/07/doping.html

Which are your favourites? Comments please!

(And by the way, websites only count as one word!)

Painkillers

Simon came home despondent, and with a pounding head-ache, after yet another dreadful day at work.

Utterly depressed, he trudged upstairs, and opened the bathroom cabinet, searching for something to end his pain.

He grabbed the paracetamol, and carefully examined the bottle.

Roughly 25 tablets.

“Should be enough,” he thought.

Jane

He loved her.

Her dulcet tones had never steered him wrong.

Consequently, he always followed her instructions; even ones against his better judgement.

Newer models never tempted him, and his friends’ pleas to attempt to ‘update’ her were ignored.

The result? One day his satnav directed him into a lake!

Silver Shooting Star

For the last week, Ian had been checking online for his latest grade.

His previous results were good, and he was desperate to find out if how he’d been rated this time.

His result was there!

A+++!

Ian smiled as he read the rest of the feedback: “Top eBayer, cheers!”

(Peanut butter is actually more effective)

He knew how dangerous the enemy was; the attempted poisoning had proved that.

Nonetheless, he still had a mission to complete.

He squeezed out of his hideout and dashed, staying close to the wall.

Soon, he saw the target.

He took hold of the cheese.

SNAP!

The enemy had won.

When the housemate's away...

A few things changed when his housemates went on holiday; less washing up, his choice of TV...

Perhaps most noteworthy, was the fact that he was no longer sleeping alone.

Every night, a female companion was sharing his bed;

Their terrier only slept in his room when they were away.

Dilemma

Sarah had a tough decision to make.

She felt sure that neither possible outcome would be satisfactory.

Her family had left her in this position, yet they didn’t comprehend its seriousness; they even seemed to find it amusing.

Sarah sullenly looked at her choices again... Toffee Penny, or Coffee Creme?

“Everyone will be World famous for 15 minutes.”

The whole family settled down to watch Chardonnay’s audition.

The debacle that followed saw her caterwaul horrendously, swear at all three judges, and then swing at the security guard as he forcibly removed her from the stage.

“Anything to say?” asked her appalled grandmother.

“Yeah. I woz on TV, innit!!”

Abiding memory of TMA5

Danny was disconcerted.

He had been expecting something, that hadn’t materialised.

Its absence wasn’t a bad thing; it was just that he’d become completely accustomed to its presence previously.

Now though, he’d completed a whole block of his Children’s Literature module without one mention of Freud, Oedipus, or sexual awakening!

Popularity vs. Prestige (TMA 4)

“Ron, I’ve been thinking. We should use longer words, and more metaphors.”

“Eh?!”

“We’ll have way more credibility!”

“So? We’ve done OK so far. Credibility or not, at least our stories are actually interesting!”

Harry inwardly agreed, but heard a tut from Hermione, who was busy reading Swallows and Amazons.

Leaving

George was glad that it was over.

He’d become tired of hospital, and all of those painful, intrusive treatments.

So, when he found out that it was time to go, he was surprised but relieved.

However, even leaving wasn’t painless: as George moved towards the light, he witnessed Elsie sobbing.

LOLZ!!!1

 Jordan had found the perfect place to showcase his comedy material.

His first effort had been universally liked. He had high hopes for this one:

“That awkward moment when Bruno Mars GF asks him to jump in front of a train.”

One hour later: 37 ‘likes’ and 6 ‘lmao’s.

Success!

Get on with it!

Alan had reached the summit.

All he had to do now was jump.

Yet, suddenly, he didn’t want to.

From below, he heard what sounded suspiciously like a taunt.

“I can’t back out now,” he thought.

Alan jumped.

His harness took the strain, and the terrifying teambuilding activity was over.

“Annoys the hell outta me, and gives me shooting pains in my head and spine.”

Just the sight of him was enough to ruin her day.

That stupid suit he wore; the outdated hairstyle; the quite ridiculous moustache.

She despised everything about him, and it got even worse when he opened his mouth.

“Bloody Go Compare advert,” she muttered as it came on yet again.

At the zoo

A lot of them look gormless.

Sometimes the mothers carry the babies, which is quite cute.

At their feeding time, they make a right mess! So much goes on the floor!

In the evening, the keeper comes, and makes them go away.

That’s when I rest; alone in my cage

Fifty Syllables

Marc did not think it would be hard to do, as short words are not too hard to think of.

He soon found it tough though.

Some words were just too long, and had no swaps.

So a brief tale in real short words did not seem on the cards.

An awfully big lack of adventure (TMA3)

Peter slumped into his seat on the tube, and sighed.

Sometimes, he still contemplated the life he had exchanged for this daily grind:

The beautiful scenery, the complete freedom, the adventures with his loyal friends.

Mother or not, London had nothing on Neverland.

Wendy had a lot to answer for.

Papped

Whilst walking by a stream, the princess noticed a small frog.

“Brilliant!” she thought. “I’ve finally found my prince!”

She picked the frog up, and kissed him.

There was a flash... but no transformation.

“What a scoop!” a man with a camera and press badge whispered, before speed-dialling Heat magazine...

Alliteration

Since settling, (s’s, somewhat surprisingly) Steve Smith’s short stories seemed somehow snappier.  

Suddenly, Steve’s sagas shocked; stunned; slightly scandalized!

Some sullenly sneered: “Steve’s strategy’s simply stupid!”

Similarly, some snidely sniped: “Simpleton!”

Several shrieked: “Steve’s story’s stupendous!”

 “Silly Steve!” scores smirked.

Satisfied, Steve smiled silently.

Straightforwardly stated: short story, solely s’s. 

We need to talk

Rachael was having a serious conversation with her boyfriend.

“I feel that our whole relationship has reached a crossroads,” she said, specifying that they had the option of a (metaphorical) left or right turn.

The boyfriend took his time considering this, before replying: “That’s not a crossroad, it’s a T-Junction.”  

Authorial intent

The students were meeting the author.

Finally, they’d get the chance to ask him about the infamous foetus metaphor; the one their teacher had talked about at such length.

Giles asked him, outlining a few of the possibilities they’d discussed.

The author stared blankly.

“I just thought it sounded good.”

Sometimes it’s hard to think of good titles

In truth, she had wanted him out for some time.

She’d always known that the initial arrangement wouldn’t last, but now the time to end it had come, it was far more painful than she’d imagined.

Determinedly, though, she was going through with it.

That evening, her son was born.

Homage to TMA2

After his surgery, Geoff was absolutely fine.

However, it was standard practice to keep such patients in overnight for observation.

Worried that her granddad would get bored, Sarah lent him Little Women; her favourite book.

That night, Geoff slipped into a coma.

The book was found open on page 4.

Sp.

His teacher had tolled hymn that if he did knot listen, his mini sagas wood bee paw.

“Yew knead two concentrate inn my lessen about homophones!” she sed.

Butt he didn’t.

Sew when it was thyme four hymn too right a short story, he maid a reel mess of it. 

Time for a snow plough

Gavin looked every inch the great skier.

He was resplendent in his Oakley sunglasses, designer ski-suit, and Dalbello Krypton boots.

Yep, he truly looked like a great skier...which was actually his biggest problem, and made it even more embarrassing when he fell over seven seconds after getting onto the slope.

FRZ TCJM

Rowan badly needed some Es.

He looked round the room for a likely supplier.

“Mary, you got any Es?” he whispered urgently.

“I need them all myself.” She replied. “You know how I feel about dealing, anyway.”

Rowan looked at his tiles again. This game of Scrabble was going terribly.